When Life Changes

I miss my friend. Terra died of cancer on October 4, 2022, she was only 46. She was a dear friend and true pillar in my weekly life. For 14 years we were accountability buddies in all things work and life. We helped each other build our coaching businesses.  Every Friday at 8am, unless one of us was sick or traveling, we connected. We started each phone call with the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference

We would then each take a few minutes to do a big picture check-in, and after, we would choose who was going first, then second for a longer time, typically 25 minutes. Each Friday call was a sacred time in my week. It was a time to drop in, share, and feel profoundly belonging to each other and life.

Sometimes, one or both of us would start the call a bit frazzled and stressed, our brains pulling us in ten different directions, but soon, right after the Serenity Prayer, we would both settle in. We would remember this grooved, foundational, sacred connection we had created over 14 years, and then we knew we were home. Home, knowing we held each other with grace, love, and devotion.

I miss my friend. I miss our shared and significant history together; we knew where we both struggled and where we shined. I miss knowing I could listen deeply and learn how to support Terra best. I miss how I could say what I was struggling with or feeling challenged by, and she knew how to meet me with ease and love. I miss how we celebrated each other’s lives and milestones.

Terra and I shared a lot in common. We both studied psychology and both life-purpose coaches. We were raised in working-class families and had the same astrological sign: Sun in Libra, Pisces rising, and Capricorn moon. We often found we would be dealing with similar themes in life at the same time—different content but identical in the felt experience.

And we were different; we had different personalities. Terra had chosen not to be a Mom to humans; she was a Mom to her sweet dog, Honey. Terra moved fast in life; she would grapple with a decision for a few days, work hard for clarity, and once clarity set in, she would immediately take action. I would find her moving out of state, on a plane to India, or signing up for a workshop or year-long program.

I am a Mom of two kids; my life moves slower and more consistently in many ways. But after Terra died, I realized maybe her soul knew her time was limited. Maybe there was a deep knowing that she needed to take on life in all the ways that helped her feel alive, so she moved fast. Deep down, she knew life was precious and short and did not want to miss any of its goodness or nectar.

This realization gives me hope; it helps me pay a little more attention. It helps me cherish all the AWE in life, and it helps me embrace my sweet life with the precious beings I have the privilege to love.

I wish Terra were still here on this planet. I wish I could talk to her and hug her. I wish I could laugh with her and share wisdom. But I feel her spirit. I think her love is close by. Multiple times a day, I see 111 or 444, all angel numbers, and I feel at home. I believe in our connection and know it has not ended; it has simply transformed.

I encourage you to appreciate those you hold sacred in your life, Including yourself. Trust you are right on time no matter where you are in life and what is happening. Indeed, life is short.

 

“Instructions for living a life.

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.”

-Mary Oliver