When Life Changes

I miss my friend. Terra died of cancer on October 4, 2022, she was only 46. She was a dear friend and true pillar in my weekly life. For 14 years we were accountability buddies in all things work and life. We helped each other build our coaching businesses.  Every Friday at 8am, unless one of us was sick or traveling, we connected. We started each phone call with the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference

We would then each take a few minutes to do a big picture check-in and after we would choose who was going first, then second for a longer time, typically 25 mins. Each Friday call was a sacred time in my week. It was a time to drop in, share and feel a deep belonging to each other and life.

Sometimes one or both of us would start the call a bit frazzled and/or stressed our brains pulling us in ten different directions but soon, right after the Serenity Prayer, we would both settle in. We would remember this grooved, foundational, sacred connection that we had created over our 14 years and then we knew we were home. Home in the knowing that we held each other with grace, love and devotion.

I miss my friend. I miss our shared and significant history together, we knew where we both struggled and where we shined. I miss knowing I could listen deeply and know how to best support Terra. I miss how I could say what I was struggling with or feeling challenged by and she knew how to meet me with ease and love. I miss how we celebrated each other’s lives and milestones.

Terra and I shared a lot in common. We both studied psychology and both life-purpose coaches. We were both raised in working class families, and we had the exact same astrological sign, Sun in Libra, Pisces rising and Capricorn moon. We often found we would be dealing with similar themes in life at the same time. Not the same content but similar in the felt experience.

And we were different, we had different personalities. Terra had chosen not to be a Mom to humans, she was a Mom to her sweet dog Honey. Terra moved fast in life, she would grapple with a decision for a few days, work hard for clarity and once clarity set in she would immediately take action. I would find her moving out of state or on a plane to India or signing up for a workshop or year-long program.

I am a Mom of two kids, my life moves slower and more consistent in a lot of ways. But after Terra died, I realized maybe her soul knew her time was limited. Maybe there was a deep knowing that she needed to take on life in all the ways that helped her feel alive, so she moved fast. She knew deep down that life is precious and short and she did not want to miss any of it’s goodness or nectar.

This realization gives me hope, it helps me pay attention just a little bit more. It helps me cherish all the AWE in life and it helps me embrace my sweet life with the precious beings I have the privilege to love.

I wish Terra was still here on this planet. I wish I could talk to her and hug her. I wish I could laugh with her and share wisdom. But I feel her spirit. I feel her love close by. Multiple times a day I see 111 or 444, all angel numbers and I feel home. I feel our connection and know that it has not ended, it has simply transformed.

I encourage you to appreciate those you hold sacred in your life Including yourself. No matter where you are in life and what is happening, trust you are right on time. Truly, life is short.

 

“Instructions for living a life.

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.”

-Mary Oliver