There is Grace in Creating Boundaries
Boundaries are essential, especially if you want to live life on purpose. Or, put another way, if want to live a sane life. Almost every woman I know, including friends and clients, struggle with boundaries, which I believe is a form of internalized sexism. As females, we are trained to be relational and think of others first. There is, of course, a spectrum of how this lands with individual women, but the bottom line is women need strong boundaries. When we first start implementing them into our life it can feel strange and maybe even wrong.
I am here to be your BOUNDARY ADVOCATE. I want for you to feel as if your life is more proactive than reactive. You do get to choose with whom and how you spend your precious talent and time. I first suggest doing an inventory of your life.
What is an inventory you ask? It’s taking a look at how and whom you spend your time with. You start with your inner circle of family and friends and then move outward to colleagues, neighbors, fellow parents, etc.
Then it is important to track your energy. Do you feel alive with the people you spend time with or depleted? Are you craving more alone time? Are you craving more nature or meditation time? Are you dreaming of doing something creative but can never “find” the time to do it?
If you feel depleted after hanging out with someone, then say no more. If you are craving more alone time, schedule it in your calendar as a priority. If you need time in nature and meditation, then set it up that way. If creative adventure keeps knocking at your door, open it and take steps to to move toward it.
You can use this simple but powerful coaching inventory tool to clear on your YESs and your NOs.
If you say NO, then ask yourself what you are saying YES to. If you say YES, then ask yourself what you are saying NO to. For example, maybe you need a walk in nature to calm your mind, heart, and nervous system, but by taking this hour you are saying NO to doing more work. Check in, how does that feel? You could say it is better for everyone, including your work, if I take this walk and come back to your center.
Only you can create the boundary. I often see women waiting for it to happen on its own or for the person who depletes them to stop calling. I am here to say it is not going to happen that way. Take back your power and energy. Wasting your time on activities and people who are not aligned will simply take away from your life force and your purpose.
Most boundaries can be set in the spirit of kindness. You can be direct and kind and still honor yourself to your highest good.
If you are struggling on where to start, please reach out. I can help you take an inventory and assess where to take the first baby step toward reclaiming your energy and power.