Do Not Take Things Personally

I love the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Most definitely read it if you have not yet. The wisdom is so simple yet so powerful. One of the four agreements is not to take things personally. This is an important concept to apply in all areas of life, especially when you are in career transition and taking new risks.

Something I often hear from clients is that they do not want to bug people or they feel hurt when someone does not return a call or an email after they have an attempted to connect or set up an informational interview. The lack of response is not personal, really it’s not. People have so many competing priorities and commitments.

Today’s modern world is busy, too busy. Some say we have become addicted to busy as a society. I definitely agree. Constant busyness causes things to slip through the cracks, which often includes email and voicemail. In fact, 99.9% of the time someone does not return your call or email is because they are simply too darn busy.

Most of what happens today with communication is triage. People need to triage who they call and email back, therefore if you are reaching out to set up a tea date, lunch, and/or talk on the phone, it is going to take more than one email or call in most cases to connect. Especially if that person does not know you. It is so not personal. In most cases, it is simply one has too much on his/her plate.

So think of it as a project when you reach out to new people. Assume you will need to reach out several times before you hear back. My rule is 3 times; if I do not hear back after emailing or calling 3 times I let it go. I assume that person is too busy to connect. I even take it a step further and encourage my clients to do the same. I link it to my spiritual belief and trust that if I am not connecting with that person than the timing is not right or our connection is not meant to be.

I always believe in Divine timing. I believe Goddess, Universes, Higher Power whatever you like to call it, has our back and sees a bigger picture than we can see.

So if you reaching out and taking risks to meet new people, I say YAY! Celebrate that! You do not need to focus on the outcome at first, simply focus on the action. You are taking action toward your future. All effort counts, despite the outcome. The outcome comes out of thousands of small actions added up. Not just one.

And if you do not hear back after 3 attempts, let it go. Do not take it personally and trust in the mystery of the divine.