Good Days and Bad Days
The notion that everyday can be joyful is frankly bullshit. The idea that every day can be a good day or that if we just write down 10 things a day we are grateful for, we will experience total joy, is frankly not HUMAN. Don’t get me wrong, I love the practice of gratitude, however what I don’t love is the implication that if you are not feeling joy you are doing life wrong. I think coaches who lead with this idea, are doing great harm to people.
As a Career Purpose Coach I do believe we can make choices to enhance our life and our fulfilment, but the simple fact of life is we all have bad days. I have seen too many people, including myself, make our bad days worse by feeling extra bad for not being able to get out of it and tap into our joy.
Life ebbs and flows. There are certain things we have power over, but there are many more things that we do not. We do not know when our parents, family or friends will die. We cannot change the weather. We cannot change the people around us. We cannot change if a driver cuts us off. We cannot change when the sun sets or rises. And so much more.
Just like nature, we humans have different internal seasons, and if we view our seasons as an opportunity to be kind to ourselves and lean into the feelings associated with that season, then we have an opportunity to feel satisfied with our life. Satisfaction is so much more sustainable and grounded then going for the feeling of joy day in and day out. That is just a set up to feel bad.
I suggest meeting yourself where you are with extreme kindness and gentleness. If you are doing work you hate and are not sure what is next, meet yourself with compassion. If you have many ideas of work you want to do but cannot choose, meet yourself with compassion. If you have started in the direction of work you want to do but are not seeing the results you desire, meet yourself with compassion.
Really, it is that simple. In my coaching practice, I meet my clients where they are and then together we look at where they want to go. I guide my clients through good and bad days. I help them meet themselves in a way they forgot or maybe never learned.
This human experience is truly complex, and being kind to yourself on the bad days can create extraordinary results.
If you are having a bad day today, please be kind to you. Please lean in and feel the feelings. They will pass, I promise. Remember, to be HUMAN is to experience an array of feelings. You get to have them and then start over. Start again. Try again.
Do not go for joy, go for satisfaction. Go for fulfillment. This path is so much more rewarding.