Compare and Despair

This time of year can feel like hitting the restart button, a do-over, or fresh slate. It is a good feeling to stand in January and look at the year ahead, all the possibility. Many people make resolutions such as get a new job, lose weight, quit smoking, create an exercise routine, and/or find a partner. I love thinking about the future, dreaming and visioning into possibility into something different and/or something more, love it.

But here is the challenge, many resolutions can be driven by comparing our insides to someone’s outsides or something outside our self. Comparing can be harmful, self-defeating and energy draining and this is why most people drop or forget about their resolutions come March.

I believe in working from the inside out. It is clear that internal motivation is way more sustainable in making a change than trying to work from the outside in. External motivation can only take us so far, it really needs to come from the inside out to be sustainable.

When we go after a new job, stronger body, more money, more friends, a bigger house, a big vacation, more community there is something within we are trying to fulfill. Get clear on the need within and feel the internal reward as much as the outer reward. In my experience, the internal satisfaction is way more valuable than the actual result. Yes, obtaining a new job, a stronger body, more money, a relationship can all feel great but the process of obtaining these things is the real gold.

  • How do you feel as you change your routine?
  • How do you feel when you change your behavior with a friend, partner or children?
  • How do you feel when you choose to eat differently?
  • How do you feel when exercise?
  • How do you feel when you slow down, pause and check in, move at your unique pace?
  • How do you feel when you make a plan and stick to it?
  • How do you feel when you say an honest NO?

The results will come but only when we are in alignment with ourselves, our true authentic self. When change is sourced and created from our core selves, the results are rewarding and the journey also feels great.

I suggest taking time to get clear on what satisfies YOU, what fulfills YOU, what inspires YOU, rather than comparing and despairing. I had a yoga teacher in class always say, “keep the focus on your mat, your body, don’t compare yourself to the ‘Jones’ next store, they may be crazy.” I loved it, he was using humor to help each of us connect back to ourselves, our bodies, our individual edge because at the end of this life, that is truly all we have; ourselves, our souls and our experience.

What if you spent this year feeling confident and making a plan based on what is most important to you rather then your neighbor, friend or the person in the magazine?

What if you spent this year feeling energized, inspired and in self-connection?

What if you really found your unique pace this year and excelled beyond your imagination?